Coupled Cuisine
by blackindigocat
Summary: A rewrite of the episode Fusion Cuisine where Steven brings his polar opposite moms Amethyst and Pearl with him to dinner. A little bit of Stevonnie and Pearlmethyst woven throughout.


"I wonder if Fish Stew Pizza will take reservations for Pearl, Garnet, Dad, Amethyst- all eight of us."

"You can't bring **everybody**!" Connie yowled into the phone

"Why not?" Steven asked as a look of confusion crossed his face.

"Because...because I told my parents you have a nuclear family." Connie replied quickly through the receiver.

"Nuclear!" Steven yelled into the phone, "Sure they blow stuff up sometimes but that's because they're magic not radioactive."

"Steven, nuclear means two adults and their child or children." Connie replied more confidently.

Steven took a deep breath and replied, "Two adults huh? I think I know how this will work." And with that he hung up the phone as a smile crossed his face.

* * *

"Why does it have to be dinner?" Pearl asked with a moan as a look of nausea crossed her face.

Amethyst took no time to chime in quickly replying "I love eating!" As she munched on a bag of chips her third one that day according to Steven's counting.

"And that's why this will work perfectly, Pearl, you can say your on a diet or have dietary restrictions to the food served at the restaurant, while Amethyst will eat your fill."

"Wait wait wait, I have to go to dinner, with Pearl: Mayor of Boringville." Amethyst replied as she sent a stare at Pearl.

Pearl blushed then replied, "I don't want this either." As she glared at Amethyst.

"Sorry Steven, I just don't think this will work." Amethyst said to Steven ruffling a hand through his hair.

"B-but Connie." Steven replied.

"Amethyst is right, Steven you'll figure this out another way." Pearl replied Steven gave puppydog eyes and Pearl gave a sigh, "I suppose we have no choice." Steven's frown faded then he replied, "Great, but you may want to increase your relationship before you meet the Maheswarans!"

"Relationship?" Pearl asked with a confused look as she glanced at Amethyst.

* * *

"And these are my two moms Amethyst and Pearl." Steven replied as he shook hands with Mrs. Maheswaran and gestured toward the two gems who were quarrelling.

Mrs. Maheswaran frowned "They don't look like they get along very well."

Steven gave a nervous laugh as he headed for the table, "Just like an old married couple, no worries, they'll be kissing their troubles away in minutes."

Mrs. Maheswaran looked at Amethyst and Pearl again, "I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."

"Nevermind, let's eat!" Steven replied as he sat down placed a napkin on his lap and held a fork and a knife in each hand.

* * *

Steven waited for the rest of Maheswaran family to sit down including Connie before rushing over to Pearl and Amethyst and bringing them toward the table. As he did, he quickly whispered, "Try to act like you two don't completely hate each other Mrs. Maheswaran is already a little suspicious." Once the party had sat down the waiter came out asking each family what they would like, Amethyst ordered some calamari as an appetizer and did the same for Pearl granted she'd be eating Pearl's food, then as a main course, Amethyst ordered a Crab "to share"." Steven simply ordered some crab cakes as his main course then waited for the Maheswaran's to order. He didn't listen to what they had said as he found himself lost in Connie. She was wearing a white blouse and a lovely skirt beneath it. He found his moment interrupted when Mrs Maheswaran posed a question to Steven's mothers, "So how did you two meet?" Steven turned his glance toward Pearl, she seemed to be caught off guard and was mumbling, "They met on a roller coaster!" Steven replied as he stood up on his chair. The Maheswaran's gave him a weird look so he continued with, "They were strangers who got on the same car, and Pearl was feeling ill since she was only going on the ride to win a bet Amethyst who considered herself a daredevil actually grabbed Pearl and threw her off the rollercoaster then jumped moving faster than Pearl catching her once she reached the bottom." Steven replied gleefully, Connie shook her head in disapproval to Steven's answer. The waiters brought the calamari for Pearl and Amethyst, staring at the food gave Pearl a nauseated look, "You know," She replied, "I'm gonna go find the bathroom." As she dashed away from the table and Amethyst happily ate her share. "This why I married her." Amethyst lied, "I get to eat all of her food." She said while chomping down on the food. She continually chewed with her mouth open and Connie's mom placed a hand in front of her daughter's eyes. Pearl soon arrived back at the table as the waiter took the empty plates. "So where do you two work?" Mr. Mahaeswaran asked as he swirled around a glass of water. Steven was first to chime in, "Oh Pearl's teacher for a school outside of Beach City." Connie actually smiled at Steven's first believable comment, "And Amethyst doesn't work, she isn't a homemaker either, more of a home _ **breaker**_ or home _ **messer**_." Steven replied with a laugh.

Connie seemed to smile to that as well, Steven was clearly on the right track. Mr. Maheswaran seemed to smile as well to Steven's response. The waiter soon brought Amethyst and Pearl their crab while Steven had two crab cakes. Amethyst immediately went to eat the food, chomping it down in hideously rude ways. Pearl simply sat at the table with a nauseated look, "Pearl." Connie's mother replied as she glanced at the tall linear crystal gem, "I've noticed you haven't taken a bite."

"She's uh on a diet!" Steven replied quickly as he slapped Pearl's shoulder. "Amethyst eats Pearl's share sometimes."

"It's like Amethyst has a black hole in her stomach." Mr. Maheswaran replied with laugh. His wife immediately stared him down and replied, "Don't be rude." "How can you eat that gloop?" Pearl asked Amethyst quietly.

"I'm hungry!" Amethyst declared

"but eating this much must have a bad effect on your gem." Pearl replied.

"Please, you don't always have to be the fun police."

"Amethyst!" Pearl shouted in response to nickname. Connie stood up and grabbed Steven's hand as she rushed him away from the table.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked him.  
"Pearl and Amethyst are fighting?" Steven asked. Connie pulled Steven towards her "Steven this is serious, my parents are going to flip if you don't stop them." Then she let go of his arm and rushed back to the table. When he did Pearl and Amethyst were still fighting. "I'm just saying for your well being-" Pearl replied.

"My well being!? Pearl, stop being a buzzkill, I can do what I want." Steven rushed forward to his mothers and stood between them before yowling, "Guys!"

"Steven." Pearl answered, "Mind telling Amethyst I-"

"Nevermind that, Steven interrupted you have to make up now."

Amethyst put an arm around Pearl's waist causing Pearl to blush with surprise. "More…" Steven whispered. He then puckered his lips hinting at the two crystal gems. "Excuse me?" Pearl asked dazed as she shook herself away from Amethyst.

"Yeah I am not kissing her." Amethyst replied as she rolled her eyes. Steven sighed and made puppy dog eyes, "Oh well, farewell Connie I'll always remember our time together." And as if he was acting in a terrible soap opera he placed a hand on his heart and raised the other into the sky bending on one knee.

Pearl took a deep breath, "We have no choice." She then lowered her face to Amethyst's and lightly kissed her lips pulling away soon after and apologizing. Amethyst thought nothing of it as she headed back to the table. Steven sat as he finished his crab cakes and Connie smiled at him. They soon finished dinner and the waiter brought the bill fetching the plates. Mrs. Maheswaran gave a smile and replied, "Since this dinner was my families idea, we'd be happy to pay." And with that she fetched her wallet. Pearl thanked her and Amethyst tried to smile. Connie escorted Steven away from the table for a second and thanked him with a kiss on the lips as her parents had told her that she could continue to spend time with Steven, maybe even hang out with him more. With stars in his eyes Steven waved the Maheswaran's off and went to spoke to his mothers. "That actually went pretty well." Pearl began.

"Yeah." Amethyst replied.

"And remember Steven's zany story of how we met?" Pearl asked blushing.

"Yeah, but now I kinda wish we had met that way." Amethyst replied with a sigh

"You do?" Pearl asked.

"I do." Amethyst replied as she looked at Pearl. Pearl was a little hesitant at first but she found enough courage to reach out for Amethyst's hand taking it into her own causing the purple gem to blush. They both gazed into each other for while, and they didn't stop until Steven interrupted them. Typical.


End file.
